


A Ghost of Your Skin Halfway Down Her Pants

by red_handedjill



Category: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
Genre: Cheating, Drug Use, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Pre and Post Canon, Spoilers, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 11:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4136505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_handedjill/pseuds/red_handedjill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days, his sister just locks herself in her room and plays piano so much he's half sure her fingers will bleed. — gabe/natalie</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Ghost of Your Skin Halfway Down Her Pants

**Author's Note:**

> This is really complicated, just an early heads up. So, Gabe doesn't know he's dead (or he does and doesn't want to be), people can kinda see him, and it's inspired by "Superboy and the Invisible Girl," when Aaron does that haunting thing where he almost touches Jennifer's back but he doesn't, like he can't. I guess it's AUish?

Dan will tell you that Gabe Goodman died seventeen years ago but Diana will tell you his favorite dinner is fried chicken. Natalie will just say fuck until her mouth hurts. One of these days he will make his sister admit he is alive.

(Because he is, damn it.)

* * *

It started when she was twelve. Diana had a break down and Natalie was locked in her room like always, doing anything she could with her hands to keep from strangling herself. She never bothered locking Gabe out. She never bothered acknowledging him. She never even said his name.

He sat on her bed, watching her angrily play the piano and fuck up all the notes (those were her words, of course, he thinks she has said fuck more than she has said her own name) and do all her homework and throw books off of their shelves and yank at her hair and type away at her computer.

It was some moment when she was hissing under her breath at the piano that Mozart was fucking crazy that it happened. She was too pale and her hair was always messy and her hip bones stuck out too much but somehow, in that moment, as she sung that it would all go away, as she played the piano with half-twitching fingers and lost her tempo like she thought their mom had lost her mind, Gabe decided she was beautiful. And ignoring him, no matter how loudly he talked.

"Natalie, do you know you're beautiful?" He asked her from her bed.

She didn't respond. She just angrily threw herself onto her bed, right next to him, and tried something new.

Her jeans were halfway down her thighs and her hand was between them, rubbing at her underwear.

"Absolutely beautiful," he said, his hand moving to her to help her. Something stopped him. He couldn't tug her shirt up like he wanted to. Why couldn't he? He was alive.

He probably should have asked why she didn't try to stop him.

* * *

Their mother was completely insane according to her, she was thirteen and halfway to losing her fucking mind. It was genetic, he supposed.

They didn't look all that much alike. Him with almost blonde hair and her with that dark mess of curls. But they were brother and sister. Even if she said she had no siblings when asked. He knew about that. Of course he did. He was with her when she said it. He was trying to grab her attention, to grab her hand.

He never could touch her. Invisible Girl was untouchable, or Superboy couldn't grab a hold. He never knew. All he knew was he wanted to hiss all those swear words she knew into her ear for  _lying._

He wanted to grab her neck but he settled for saying, "for someone so smart, sis, you're really stupid. You have a brother. I'm right here."

Natalie didn't even flinch. She just carried on her flat voice and unwillingness to talk about her family, as if Gabe wasn't even there.

Invisible Girl was the one who wasn't there.

That's what Diana always said. Well, she never said it. But he knew that's how it was.

It was those little things that steeled him to want to hit his little sister until she admitted he was there. He never did. He couldn't. Instead he tried to bring his lips to her neck until she shivered and  _acknowledged_  him because he  _was alive._  He was there. Right next to her. Gabe wasn't invisible.

Gabe wasn't dead.

He just couldn't touch his little sister the ways he wanted to.

That didn't mean he was dead.

* * *

If he could, his fingers would ghost over her back as she played the piano. Anything to make her just tell him to stop. To admit he is there. He knew he was there. Diana told him he was there, no matter what Dan said.

Instead, he talked over her playing. She knew she was talented and he knew he didn't need to affirm that for her. He was sure Yale would eventually.

Gabe said all the things brothers were supposed to say to their sisters first. Then he slid closer, so his hip was almost pressing against hers (he still could not quite touch her) and started whispering to the air next to her neck all the things he thought girls wanted to hear.

But Natalie did not flinch or blink or anything to acknowledge him. She calmly played her Mozart (he could see in her eyes that she still thought Mozart fucking crazy).

His lips were so close to her neck when he couldn't move further. The mouth they didn't share twisted into a hideous scowl and he hissed, "Mozart isn't the only one who's fucking crazy, Nat."

She did nothing and he screamed.

Natalie still did nothing.

"Invisible Girl, you would be lucky to let Superboy touch you," he told her through grit teeth.

He carried the thought to her bedroom that she still didn't lock him out of and to her body as he watched her fingers awkwardly slide in and out of her body. Then Diana called for dinner and he crawled over her body in the way he knew brothers weren't supposed to and watched her beautiful face just to see her  _acknowledge_  him.

Her fingers slid out, unsatisfied, and she sighed. Natalie didn't move out from under him but she didn't acknowledge him. Superboy didn't know what to make of her so they stayed like that until they heard knocking on her bedroom door.

Gabe got off her and Diana asked why they weren't downstairs. Natalie looked ready to cry.

* * *

A leg swung over her bed in the dark of night and she said nothing. She never said anything when he slept in her room on her bed with her, why would she say something when he got up randomly?

He was half naked and she had ignored him telling her to take her clothes off too. Natalie never stopped ignoring him.

"Why are you like this?" She whispered.

"Because you won't admit I'm here," he said.

She did not acknowledge him further, if she had been at all. Growling and swearing as much as she did, he kicked his boxers off, taking his cock out. It was only half hard from the cold and from watching her change but Gabe didn't give a damn. Even Natalie couldn't ignore  _this._

But she did.

She sighed sadly and stared at the blackness of the ceiling. Then she was peeling her shirt up and rubbing her breasts. "You need to feel something," she whispered to herself.

He already knew they weren't good siblings. He didn't need to groan at the sight of her rubbing her chest and start pumping his cock to know that. "I can make you feel," he told her, "you know you need me to be something more than the Invisible Girl. Mom will never love you like she loves me otherwise." Taunting her was easiest.

Ignoring him must have been easiest for her. That was why she said nothing and pushed her free hand down her shorts, biting her lip.

With his cock hanging out in the night and hard as a rock, he crawled over his little sister again and watched her face contort.

He wondered what would happen if he tried to slip himself into her.

"Need a hand? Or cock?" He asked, lowly from on top of her.

Natalie said nothing. Natalie always said nothing.

* * *

She was halfway drugged from popping pills and he was half dressed in her bedroom again. Anything to get her attention, even if having his cock inches away from her body hadn't done the trick.

Gabe had been talking much too long now and she was even more unresponsive than normal. Her eyes were dead and her gaze vacant, straight ahead.

"Why won't you listen to me, just once? Admit I'm here, Natalie. I'm  _here,_ " he growled. She did not move. She never did. "Why can't I touch you?" He asked, softer, "why? Why did you take all that shit? It's Mom's, you know it is. Is this to make her love you? You're fucking with your chances at early admission. All because of Henry. What's so special about him, Nat? Why him? He's a stoner, he's toxic. You know that, you're too smart not to. What does he do for you? Has he touched you? Like I can't? Tell me, Natalie, has Henry fucked you? Is that why you took those? Because he fucked you and you liked the thrill? Or is it because you want to feel? I can make you feel. Just  _let me._  Acknowledge me, damn it."

For the first time, Gabe was crying.

Natalie still ignored him.

"STOP IGNORING ME, NATALIE!" He screamed, throwing his arms around her slight frame. He was doing it. He was touching her. He could  _finally_  touch her. He buried his head into her shoulder and cried. "Fucking acknowledge me, Natalie."

She just blinked and stared ahead.

Even when he could touch her, he wasn't there to her.

"You're just like Dad," he whispered, his grip on her tightening.

* * *

He kissed her. She was so high she was actually laughing and he kissed her. She let him hold her hand and dance with her much too closely and drag his hands up her hips and the small of her back. They were at a club with fake ID's and she was so high and he kissed her.

No one knew they were brother and sister. No one knew their father said he was dead. No one knew their mother loved him more than her. No one knew they were Superboy and the Invisible Girl. They were just a boy and a girl.

"I'm your brother," he whispered into her neck.

She said nothing.

"You've never said my name," he continued.

She said nothing.

"You act like I don't exist," he murmured.

She said nothing.

"Dad says I'm dead," he hissed.

She said nothing.

"I want to fuck you," he tried.

She said nothing.

Even when Natalie acknowledged him, Natalie ignored him.

* * *

She was fumbling backstage in a dress too tight for a classical concert. He was sitting, staring at her. It was her birthday. He wondered if Diana would come back just to watch the daughter she barely remembered perform. Even Dan forced himself to shave and put on a suit for this.

Natalie was high again. She had taken more of her meds than she needed.

"Natalie, do you know you're beautiful?" He asked, hands clasped together.

She turned to him, her head tilted. "Fuck you," she whispered, walking to him. "Fuck you for fucking me up," she breathed. She wanted to scream. She didn't. Natalie always had more control than that. "Superboy," she hissed, "always her favorite when she was here. Well, she's not here now. You can go." He didn't. "Why are you here? Why do people see you? What the fuck do you want?"

"This," he said, "you're finally acknowledging me."

"Fuck you," she growled.

He caressed her cheek. He hated the way she was before drugs really hit her; a train-wreck finally willing to come undone. "I used to watch you finger yourself," he told her softly, "I used to whisper to you while you played the piano, I used to sleep in your bed with you, I would've done anything for you to just say I was there."

"Fuck you, you twisted shit," she sobbed.

And then she did fuck him, with her too tight dress bunched up at her hips and his pants unzipped and him guiding her up and down on his lap. His cock was too stiff and she bled just a little too much because of it. He didn't care. He wasn't gentle for her first time.

He didn't make love, he fucked.

Gabe shoved his cock as deep inside her as he could and reveled in his hands going over her flesh. "I'm real," he growled, "I'm here. Say it, Natalie."

Her breath hitched and she whined into his collarbone. He could feel her nails scratching at his dress shirt. He fucked harder, willing her to finally admit it.

"You're alive," she gasped at him filling her, "you're so real."

A smirk tugged at his lips as his fingers pressed into her hips. "I'm here, Natalie, I'm here, I'm here." His words weren't comforting. "I'm here."

Natalie fell apart on top of him as her phone rang. It was Henry's ringtone. Gabe knew it and she knew it. But Gabe didn't pull out of her.

"I love him," she whispered.

"You're seventeen, you don't know what love is," he said.

She stays with him inside her. "What we're doing isn't love," she said, softly.

"Would you rather play Mozart to make it go away?" He asked.

She didn't answer. She grabbed her phone and texted a thank you to Henry's wish of good luck. Then she finished fucking her brother. "Superboy, you'd be lucky to have Invisible Girl."


End file.
